R.a.c.h.e.l Toyer

“A smart, sassy and sexy young woman who knows things from fashion to film to literature, from Manolo Blahniks to Mahatma Gandhi.”

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This study examines the social effects and consequences of dealing with emotional as opposed to rational responses to conflict in a committed relationship.  The term committed can be interpreted quite literally as meaning being engaged the person with whom you are in a relationship with. This section (post) will discuss the sample, the instrument used to gather data, as well as discussion about the hypotheses.

This study is a qualitative content analysis of two individuals of the oppostie sex who are in a committed relationship and the emotional versus the rational responses in dealing with conflict.  It is a small sample, however, because of the nature of the study, only one couple is required in order to analyze the findings and determine the conclusion.  The couple’s age range is from 23 to 28 and both voluntarily agreed to participate in the study.

The coding instrument was simple in that it recorded the factors of emotional response and the factors of rational response to a conflict between the committed couple.  Both emotional responses (E) and rational responses (R) were determined by pulse, eye contact, and volume of voice.

—-Results to follow—

Today I was given the best news a graduate student could have, second only to being informed that you passed your defense.  This semester I am a research assistant to a professor in the Journalism and Media department at UNLV.  He informed me this morning that he intends to add my name to the research paper that I am helping him collect data for! And here I thought my academic progress was going to halt completely because I wasn’t able to teach, wrong.

We are only in the infant stages of our project, but he is quite excited about it and to tell you the truth, so am I.  It is a little unerving to think that my name will accompany some as reputable as a scholarly article that will no doubt go into a academic journal.  It raises the intimidation factor just a tad. But I’m excited, it means that I will have something to show for myself, other than a thesis paper of course.  More updates will come on this project of ours, can’t give away too much too soon.

I told some people close to me today, but didn’t quite get the reaction I was hoping for.  That is what happens I guess when you completely enter graduate school, nobody can really understand unless the’ve walked the halls.

I can’t sleep lately, and this song explains why, I miss my love.

Songwriters: Young, Adam;

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly
But I’ll miss your arms around me
I’d send a postcard to you, dear
‘Cause I wish you were here

I’ll watch the night turn light-blue
But it’s not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn’t so bad
‘Til I look at my hands and feel sad
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I’ll find repose in new ways
Though I haven’t slept in two days
‘Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I’ll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don’t feel so alone

I don’t feel so alone, I don’t feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you tonight
I’ll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

special thanks to JLynn Media 2009.

I have beliefs that I see constantly being attacked.  Today, it became too much.  I feel like yelling and screaming sometimes, my beliefs are mine, and what right does anyone have, especially a family member, to poke fun of the things I believe in.  I often don’t confront the unbelievers, I have a tendency to become very emotional about the things I believe in, and choke up and can’t get thoughts out logically, so I don’t say much.  I was taught not to degrade or talk down about what people believe in, no matter how unfamiliar it might be.  Why don’t I get the same consideration?

I have a particular extended member of my family, who has known me for a long time, and yet still treats me and my beliefs as though we are completely foreign.  This said family member is a good person and someone I respect very much, however, their ignorance of my beliefs causes headache and frustration.  People knock what they don’t know, I hear that all the time, but those same people don’t care enough to learn, they just are content with talking their talk and never learning the acutality.  Those people drive me crazy.  How can there be tolerance in this world if we are closed minded?

I consdier myself a respectful person, once again, a trait taught to me when I was young.  I realize that the world is full of people and ideas that are very different than my own.  I’ve traveled a little in my life and have willingly exposed myself to different views and ideals, because I feel like I can’t fully appreciate what I know unless I examine what else is out there.  I love to learn, and I don’t mind having civil conversation about my beliefs and hearing other points of view so long as the people I’m talking to realize that I know what I know and I’m content with my beliefs.

I got a little annoyed with said family member because I honestly respect someone who talks like they know what they are talking about.  Those types of people, to me, are insecure and ignorant, and I don’t have time or energy to spend on educating them on my beliefs, espeically when they think they have it all figured out.  So, when the unbelievers attack, I close my eyes, say a prayer, and remember what I believe in.

I have only three this year, and they are as follows:

1-Marry the love of my life in the temple

2-Finish my master’s degree

3-Express gratitude more often than anger or frustration

While in Hawaii, Bryce and I decided on a song that is most appropriate to him and I, a possibility for our first dance as a married couple.

Photo courtesy of JLynn Media, 2009

Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I’m trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music, fell the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

As reporters, we are often commanded to go and find the stories that will sell.  Stories about heart-ache and sorrow, about grief and agony.  But what about the stories that are based on happiness and charity? Don’t those stories need to be told as well?

No matter you political agenda, this video was on CNN.com and was a little inspiring. A man gave 80 cars a free tank of gas. Not only was this man giving something useful to his community, he didn’t expect anything in return.  If only we saw more of that, not only around the holidays, but even during the year, how much different would the world be?  If only that was the kind of news we saw on TV or read in the newspapers.  Like I tell my students at UNLV, it’s not always about the stories that sell, but more so, about the stories that make a difference.

Watch the video, feel inspired.  The news, needs more of that.