Where do we go from here?
The year started with the death of the most noble and honorable man I probably will ever know, my paternal grandfather. This year is going to come to a close with the death of my favorite lady of all time, my maternal grandmother. Coping with these significant loses has been a constant battle, and sometimes causes me to rethink everything around me. After grandpa died, I began to realize how precious time really is, how there will never be enough time and how each and every day must count towards something. A direct result of his death was my summer trip to Peru for a week. Grandpa went so fast and unexpectedly that I vowed to never let any opportunity pass me by.
It’s been a month since I was asked to endure the next loss. My grandmother, the only person on earth I could say anything to, and who understood me and my circumstance. Apart from my future spouse, hopefully, I don’t think I will ever be as close to anyone. The past month has been a struggle in the sense that there have been numerous occasions in which I was ready to pick up the phone and hear her greeting of “hi rach!” on the other end. I miss that greeting. I miss her voice. I miss her, and grandpa.
I’m tired of death and people dying. I know it’s a natural part of life and that it happens constantly, but it causes all those who are left behind to wonder, where do we go from here?
Some deal with loss in some ways, others in other ways. There is no right or wrong perscription for what to do, when, and how. We all do the best we possibly can, and move on. But what if we can’t? What if that idea of death and loss are too much to bare? Imagine your life without the person you love most in the world, would you even consider living that life? My grandpa would insist I move forward, my grandmother would, if she were here, quickly remind me that I have come too far to give up hope and bury my head in the sand.
What if tomorrow was my last day? Would all I’ve done in this life be enough?
Like this:
~ by rach on October 7, 2009.
Posted in Life, People
Tags: coping, death, dying, family, Life, loss
It is kind of scary to think about death. I’m not too fond of the idea and I’m always paranoid that my parents, grandpa, husband, and cat I’ve had since I was 10 will die. And eventually we all will, but we have the knowledge that life continues on even after this earth life passes away. Sometimes it’s hard to really know that this concept is true, but I can promise you that it is. I’ve seen evidence of it and despite my rational mind’s attempts to scare me, I know better. I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing 2 in a short period of time must be extremely difficult, but things will get better. They always do, even when we can’t conceive of the concept at this very moment in time. Sheesh- I think I need to take my own advice here! I’m thinking about you and I hope that besides these things that trouble you, all is well with my squirrel. Remember, make lemonade!